written 21 de mayo

Okay so I really needed to post that last one because it absolutely was how I was feeling and absolutely how I still occasionally feel...but I can tell you things have gotten significantly better.
I live in la casa San Pedro, with 11 chavos who are between the ages of 9 (Ramiro) and 12. we wake up and 5 and go to bed between 9 and 10. They are in school from 7/7:30 to 2, which is when lunch is. and oh-by the way-I found water to keep me ALIVE while I get used to the water here. then chores and showers and homework and clothes washing and playing before dinner, which is around 7. nope-this is crazy-I am not eating between my meals. which include beans every single day-and besides yesterday when I did eat refried on bread with cheese, I have avoided them all together! after dinner, chores, playtime, and bed.
haha well that was the rough outline...while I am thinking about it, Katelyn & company, Ivan is still here! He is 19 and obviously didnt remember me-he asked if my hair was the same color as last time?? but he did remember "las gimelos" the twins--Claire and Jane!
last night was fantastico because los chavos de San Pedro went out to the "old" soccer field to play-it is by the goats and p.s. the soccer field we put down does look great and green! but they went and then 5 older boys came too and ohh gosh it was so great to watch. I will also play-but not with the teenagers since los chiquitos aqui could beat me any day. and as I have been explaining to people, it is connections like these that are seriously keeping me going. connections like sitting on our patio/step area and seeing who comes by to talk...or gah-I am already suffering hard from loving los chavos mucho mucho mucho and yep I have a favorite and he is a trouble maker-when I place myself in fantasy world-sometimes necessary because this is insane-I am a mix between Mary Poppins and Sound of Music.
Sound of Music is obvious to me-I was fearful and if I had my luggage I am sure I could have used it for singing props and I arrived at a house with a bunch of children who people think misbehave-okay they do-and I am trying to navigate working with the house educator who the chavos call Sita, because she needs a balance of tough love and all I want to do is let them play and sleep past 5 and such. also-I think that the boys understand my gringa accent 1000x better than she does, which complicates things, but we are working at it! also-Marry Poppins comes from my new pastime of sweeping and mopping...those floors are sweeped and mopped about 5 times a day. wow. so I look for those spoonfulls of sugar wherever I can.

But again-things are hard and I miss home and by the way I have yet to enter the bathroom when the boys are awake and in the house since there is no toilet paper, the doors do not lock, and the showers are dirty because...well I guess because they are 10 year old former street children? this is roughing it. for sure. but seriously-I do get excited when I have a conversation with ANYONE in spanish-although it can turn to a series of ¨´lo siento, no entiendo¨¨ very quickly, and I know all the boys names and half of them give me hugs and my favsie gave me a hug from night one and I think there is some chance that I am going to survive this and keep on learning freakin spanish and...who knows?

today estoy nerviosa porque volunteers-which include me, a 20 yr old girl from Estonia (ummmm where in the world is that?) a 20 year old girl from Germany who has been here for a year and a half, and gracias a Dios, a 18 year old from San Fran got here on wednesday and even though he speaks perfect spanish, the kid also speaks english. but anyways I am nervous because volunteers get weekends off and I guess the norm is to leave here and go out to Atlixco or Puebla and meanwhile I am thinking that I can barely communicate here and I am supposed to throw myself into the city? YIKES! but german volunteer said I could go with her and I may or may not this weekend work up the courage to ask San Fran (p.s. his name is Andres-only friends for us!) what he is up to and Estonia has found friends in Atlixco...whatever that means! But I am scared and we shall see what happens-although as soon as I decide to step it up, fabulous and exicting words such as discoteco y cerveza y cena sin frijoles have been mentioned!!

what else...small details like there is an Alejandro in my house...I knew his name in like 3 hrs and rock at pronouncing it thanks to Gaga...IPO looks different but not like, overwhelmingly different...duh everyone stares at me and I feel like I am working the system a little too much when I shower and wear my hair down hehe and yep...

also-time here is weird and I really have a very limited idea of what day it is but a) Carter are you graduating today? fail sister, I know...fail fail fail. If so, CONGRATS! FELITACIONES! not spelled right...I love you and am so proud!!
and if not...I know when your birthday is!!
b) three months is a long time, for those of you who actually processed that one through seriously, so send those text messages just to keep me company because a smile is worth so much more than 5 cents. I will let you know when I am done requiring support!

finally, ápologies now and forever for grammar and spelling on this baby. no idea how to use a Mexican keyboard. nope.

I love you and miss you all and please please let me know what is going on in your fabulous and fantastic life!! In the meantime, tengo que irme, y hasta luego!